Celebrity Ass of the Week: Russell Brand

In some universe, somewhere Russell Brand is funny. Unfortunately for him and the VMA viewing audience, that universe is not this one.

For those of you old enough to remember with me, Brand is the British/sex-addicted version of Jesse Camp the MTV “I wanna be a VJ” winner. A guy who looks and sounds “cool” until you actually, you know, listen to him speak. Then he just gets old. Fast.

Other than the opening monologue, Brand’s entire VMA repertoire boiled down to making fun of three males who out-sex appeal him without ever dropping trow.

Brand spent the majority of his US debut (the disappointment that was “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” aside) worrying about how much sex the Jonas Brothers are or are not getting.

The joke was funny the first time. A little less the second. Smidge less the third … and by the end of the second hour, I was ready to pledge never to sleep with Brand myself.

And the Jonas Brothers handled the decreasingly funny jokes with aplomb, making them look that much more delicious next to the host. The youngest Jonas Brother, Nick, told BBC Radio’s Newsbeat program: “For us it’s cool to see that he recognizes we are gentleman. … I think he did a good job. We saw him on [The Late Show With] Conan O’Brien and thought he was hilarious.”

And that’s why you, Russell Brand, are the Celebrity Ass of the Week.


  1. avatar Rastuss says:

    “Celebrity Ass of the Week: Russell Brand”
    You forgot Celebrity “Douce” of the Week: Russell Brand
    and Celebrity “Freak” of the Week: Russell Brand
    and Celebrity “That Should Try A Different Hair Do” of the Week: Russell Brand
    and Celebrity “That Should Leave The Comedy To The People Who Know How Make People Laugh” of the Week: Russell Brand
    and Celebrity “That Should Go Back and Stay In The Country That Hatched Him” of the Week: Russell Brand

  2. avatar pastorofmuppets says:

    i disagree. kindof. his humour wasn’t the greatest, but it was better than the attempts at scripted humour that MTV has tried before.

    and i appreciated his jabs at the jonas bros to some degree, because i don’t like it when celebrities become ‘untouchable’ or too big to be taken lightly. they’ve had a stellar year, and it’s nice to see them cut down a few notches; they need to have more of a sense of humour about themselves and their music… they’re a pop band for gods sakes, not some art-rock-group. but brand is certainly not to the first person to take a shot at the jonases and their promise rings, or even mock the guys for that matter, so his jokes were a bit old.

  3. avatar Captain Spaulding says:

    The Jonas Bros are faggots. I could’ve worn one of them promise rings too when I was a teenager. And I would’ve worn it proudly up until the 10th grade when Angie, the chick with the biggest tributes to the Goddess of Dairy products, led me in to her BFF’s bedroom. I bet the Jehovas Bros. are all dying for a slice of Miley Cyrus’ forbidden fruit.

    And just because Russell Brand has the comedic delivery of stages 1 through 4 of dick-cancer, doesn’t mean he wasn’t on to something. I will give you APLOMB that the Brando’s a douche. I mean seriously, look at those fucking pants! If he farted, it’d be like one of them scarabs from “The Mummy” was running up his backside. And I want to clean up that dried miserable hairdo with Vidal Sassoon’s latest line of buckshot.

    Stupid aussie, stay with the scripted comedy you dope!

  4. avatar Rastuss says:

    @pastorofmuppets – If I am not mistaken, alot of the past VMA hosts have wrote alot of their own material.
    @Capt’n Spaulding – Not that I am sticking up for Russell Brand as much as I am defending the Aussies but I’m sure that Brand is British.

  5. avatar pastorofmuppets says:

    @Rastuss – by “scripted” i meant that previous hosts have clearly been reading off of a teleprompter, whereas brand seemed like he had an entertaining issue with tourettes. it seemed a bit more genuine, believe it or not.

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