Fall Premiere Preview- Sept. 21-28
No more pussy footing around with the fall season as ABC, NBC and CBS all bring in the big guns this week.
Monday has the return of CBS’s comedy lineup, starting at 8 p.m. with "Big Bang Theory ," then "How I Met Your Mother, " followed by "Two and a Half Men ." One new comedy, "Worst Week ," is on the slate at 9:30 p.m. as Jay Mohr plays a newly engaged man who is trying desperately to impress his in-laws-to-be and fails repeatedly. Speaking of failing (as in to be good), "CSI: Miami " wraps up the night at 10 p.m.
ABC puts on its dancing shoes for the two-hour premiere of "Dancing with the Stars " at 8 p.m. that night (I’m rooting for that great show destroyer Ted McGinley ). At 10 p.m. the (hopefully) last season of "Boston Legal" makes its case (see, I’m full of puns. Full of ‘em).
NBC promises super bad and super sexy for the third season of "Heroes " at 9 p.m. Sept. 22 (Side note: I got to meet Milo Ventimiglia at Comic Con this year and he’s actually not a douche and also very hot without the weird hair, so please, "Heroes," stop sucking. Oh and everyone should go check out his comic, "Rest." Very cool concept ).
Wow. Busy Monday.
Tuesday is a little more manageable with the door-to-door game show "Opportunity Knocks " on ABC at 8 p.m.
Over at CSI network – I mean, CBS – a psychic-turned detective investigates crime in "The Mentalist " at 9 p.m., sandwiched between returning procedurals "NCIS " and "Without a Trace ."
NBC offers up its own crime drama at 10 p.m. with the return of "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. "
Wednesday Sept. 24 is without redemption across the board. NBC’s "Knight Rider " remake follows up the perfectly mediocre movie this summer with its pilot at 8 p.m. "Lipstick Jungle " swings in at 10 p.m. on the Peacock ‘net.
CBS has the tolerable "New Adventures of Old Christine " at 8 p.m., paired with another divorcee show, "Gary Unmarried ," about a recently divorced man (Jay Mohr) who deals with his new single life and raising kids with his controlling ex-wife. "Criminal Minds " gets all squicky at 9 p.m., followed by "CSI: NY ."
Still with me? Take a deep breath.
The "Ugly Betty " cast will really be in NYC this year for the third season when it launches Thursday Sept. 25 at 8 p.m. on ABC. And raise your hand if you’d like to smack that whine right out of Meredith Grey . The maladjusted doctor is back to screwing her face in angst along with hot doctors throughout Seattle Grace at 9 p.m.
Everyone’s favorite Scientology show (both Jason Lee and Ethan Suplee, along with a coterie of guest stars are Hubbard devotees), "My Name is Earl " is hoping for good karma at 8 p.m. on NBC, followed by the cubicle monkey’s comedy of choice, "The Office " at 9 p.m. I’m hoping "ER " finally flatlines as NBC launches its supposed last season at 10 p.m.
Over on CBS, crazy people try to outwit, outplay, outlast other nutballs. The 17th edition of "Survivor " puts 18 players (including a pin-up model, a gamer, and an Olympian) in Gabon, Africa. The first episode premieres at 8 p.m.
Finally, the week wraps up with another blast of shows returning on Sunday September 28. Fox has its animation block: "The Simpsons " at 8 p.m., "King of the Hill " at 8:30 p.m., "Family Guy " at 9 p.m. and "American Dad " at 9:30 p.m.
A few channels over at CBS, "Amazing Race " starts the 13th season at 8 p.m., then the least-annoying procedural "Cold Case " at 9 p.m. and "The Unit " at 10 p.m.
Ty Pennington continues to be annoying (he used to be hot – go back to HGTV, Ty) in the two-hour premiere of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition " at 7 p.m. on ABC. The ladies and gentlemen of Wisteria Lane do their time travel thing when "Desperate Housewives " jumps ahead five years at 9 p.m. and "Brothers and Sisters " start the bickering again at 10 p.m.
When did being a serial killer become so appealing? I’m looking forward to the blood and gore and odd eroticism of "Dexter " at 9 p.m. on Showtime, followed by the aged sex addict (in real life and beyond ), David Duchovny, in "Californication " at 10 p.m.
And everyone’s Tivo promptly blows up!
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