EW talks fresh starts with Jennifer Aniston

There is no bun in Jennifer Aniston’s oven. But she’s ready to start baking.

In a cover story with Entertainment Weekly, Aniston calls the constant baby buzz “hysterical.”

“It’s almost going to take away the fun from actually being able to say one day, ‘I’m pregnant!’ ” the Marley & Me star continues. “Everyone will be like, ‘Yeah, right.’ It’s the boy who cried wolf. Stop stealing my thunder, motherf*ckers!’”

I’m awarding bonus points right now for a celebrity who isn’t Samuel L. Jackson using “motherf*ckers” in an interview with a mainstream magazine.

But points off for thinking that playing a mother in the new movie gave her any sort of inside scoop on parenting.

”I feel like that’s in my future and I’m on the verge of it in some way – or it’s something I long for,” she explains. “So it was great to sort of dip your toe in it.”

Just who she’ll be making this baby with was off the table, however. She didn’t mention current boyfriend John Mayer or ex-husband Brad Pitt.

But some references did pop up. When asked about supporters wearing “Team Aniston” shirts, for example, Aniston admitted, “‘I can see how that would be flattering. But that divide-and-conquer thing is stupid. It’s just catty. I’m not catty.”

As for the end of the marriage, she said: “‘The Hollywood fairy-tale romance’ -that’s what’s put onto it,” Aniston said. “It’s Luke and Laura. But if you strip away all of the glitz and the glamour and the headlines – the shock and awe of it – it’s just people living their life. Sh*t happens, and it’s as normal as any other human being if you take away the headlines. It’s just not as interesting without the headlines.”

Aniston also talked about her tabloid personas – everything from jilted victim to independent woman to desperate middle-aged actress.

“Everyone projects their thoughts on you,” she said. “Everyone’s got an opinion. I wish they didn’t. I’ve gotten to the point where, if I focus on all of that stuff, I won’t make a move, you know?” She paused, trying to feel her way to the right metaphor. “There’s this character – it’s like my Hannah Montana,” she explained. “That’s how I feel. There’s my Hannah Montana and then there’s me.”

Catch the on-screen version of Aniston in “Marley & Me,” costarring Owen Wilson, opening Christmas Day.

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