Archive for June, 2010
Mortal Kombat Reloaded
The two existing Mortal Kombat movies have been all shlock and no shock. I’ve been a die-hard MK fan since the very beginning and by the time the first MK film was unleashed in 1995, I was amazed at how badly the filmmakers fucked up a whole assortment of storylines and beloved characters. Think about it, Mortal Kombat was one of the most controversial games to be created and caused a massive uproar for the censors. When the movie came out, everyone just laughed!
Well, not anymore! The Kotaku website got hold of a new 8-minute “short film” trailer that stars Michael Jai White as Jax and Jeri Ryan as Sonya Blade. Check it out!
In the trailer, Jax and Sonya interrogate a mystery man and two familiar MK enemies are shown: Reptile and Baraka. Reptile is portrayed as psychotic cannibalistic humanoid and Baraka as a dreadlocked rastafarian with face piercings that murders Johnny Cage.
We find out that the man being interrogated is none other than the hellspawn Scorpion! Jax and Sonya convince Scorpion to join Shang Tsung’s tournament and, in exchange for his services, Sonya informs Scorpion that the original Sub-Zero is alive, which sets Scorpion off.
Now THIS is how you do it! The short film aims for a darker, grittier and definitely bloodier movie and I’m already sold! According to tweets from Jeri Ryan, her appearance in the short film was done “as a favor” for the film’s director who is using this trailer as a pitch to Warner Bros.
Will this version convince the WB to finally reboot the MK movie franchise? We can only hope.
The Lakers Take 2-1 Lead Over Boston
The Lakers take a commanding 2-1 lead winning Game 3, 91-84, over the Boston Celtics after a disappointing loss in Game 2. It’s not often that you see a road win of this magnitude shift so quickly against the home team, but it did! With piss-poor shooting and cold hands, Paul Pierce only scored 15 points and Ray Allen missed ALL of his field goals. My point: Boston lost BADLY.
The key plays of Game 3′s Laker win were all a result of Derek Fisher. With Kobe struggling to make most of his shots in the 4th quarter, Derek Fisher stepped up to the Boston defense and scored EIGHT critical points in the paint! With less than a minute left in the 4th, Fisher took a rebound from a missed 3-pointer from Ray Allen, dribbled all the way across a nearly empty half court, made a lay-up while getting hacked by three Celtic players and still MADE THE SHOT! It was that play that set the win for the Lakers and pretty much silenced the Boston crowd. The other factor of this victory was the Laker bench stepping up to score some points. Odom, Brown, and Vujacic each contributed extra points that kept them in the lead.
Another factor in the Boston loss has been Ron Artest’s nightmarish defense against Paul Pierce. Pierce and Ray Allen (and even Kevin Garnett) have been rendered nearly ineffective due to Artest and Gasol and if the Lakers can keep up this pace, expect the Celtics to have even more trouble down the stretch of the series. In the meantime, Game 4 will be on Thursday and I expect to see Boston be a little more aggressive. If Boston can’t make it happen in Game 4, then they might as well call a doctor because they’ll be on life support.
Vanessa Marcil Returns To “General Hospital”
I feel like I’m back in high school again! ABC Networks announced today to TV Guide that Vanessa will indeed be returning (again) to the daytime soap “General Hospital” as the conniving two-timing bitch, Brenda Barrett.
Let’s go back about eleven years (1999 to be exact). When Vanessa left the show to join “Beverly Hills 90210″, her character was killed off in a car accident but her body was never found. If I remember correctly, she did reprise the role one more time (resurrected!) and then quit again. And now she’s back (again) to wreak havoc on the lives of Sonny and Jax. Again!
Will this Brenda bitch ever die?!? We’ll find out soon enough when Vanessa’s first episode airs on August 11th. I’ll be watching intently. And somewhere in Hollywood, Megan Fox is PISSED.
“The Karate Kid” Premiere In Los Angeles
The premiere of the latest version was held in L.A. last night and a few old but familiar faces showed up. Jackie Chan, Jaden Smith, Will Smith, Cedric The Entertainer, as well as the original “Karate Kid” himself, Ralph Macchio and the original villain from the film, Martin Kove (the one who ran the Cobra Kai dojo) were in attendance.
While I still have my objections of calling this movie “The Karate Kid” (Jackie’s character teaches Kung-Fu not karate), that don’t mean I’m gonna hate on it unlike those 80′s nostalgia elitists.
The Whitney Port Sideboob Hour
In today’s edition of “The Sideboob Hour”, we bring to you the sideboob of: Whitney Port! Woo hoo! The blonde chick from “The Hills” that no one cared about appeared at the CFDA Awards red carpet in the NYC earlier tonight and was just flashing lots o’ side-flesh and pointy nips.
Okay, so maybe they’re not as hot as Katy Perry’s boobs from last night’s MTV Movie Awards but…..just…..LOOK AT IT!
MTV Movie Awards 2010 – Best & Worst Moments
I watched the MTV Movie Awards today and…..yeah, that happened. At least the show was actually ON SCHEDULE and finished within the two-hour runtime. There were a few good and bad moments although I just couldn’t stand to watch the last half hour. Here’s my list of good and bad moments from the show:
BEST MOMENTS
–TOM CRUISE DANCE ROUTINE
Dressed up as his “Tropic Thunder” character Les Grossman, Tom gave a pretty surprising hip-hop dance routine with Jennifer Lopez as his back-up dancer. Just don’t expect to see him join Broadway anytime soon.
–KATY PERRY’S BOOBS
Katy was just boobs aplenty on the show. I’m sure she used quadruple-stick tape but, boy, are those boobies purdy!
–SANDRA BULLOCK MACKIN’ ON SCARLETT JOHANSSON
Scarlett Johansson technically had nothing to do with giving away Sandra Bullock’s Generation Award (she was there in place of Ryan Reynolds), but Sandra still insisted on locking lips the same way Sandra locked lips with Meryl Streep.
–KEN JEONG’S QUICK BUT HEARTFELT SPEECH
Ken Jeong won for his wacky portrayal in “The Hangover” but was sincere in thanking all his co-stars and giving a big tearful shout-out to his wife, a survivor of breast cancer.
–MARK WAHLBERG UNCENSORED
The show was filled with tons of bleeped cuss words, but during the “Best Villain” intro, Mark Wahlberg’s cuss words weren’t bleeped in time. So there were a few “fucks” and “shits” that made it on the air. Don’t bother to watch the replay because I’m sure MTV will correct them
WORST MOMENTS
–THE CAST OF “SCOTT PILGRIM VERSUS THE WORLD”
With the exception of Anna Kendrick’s giant head and busty boobies, the entire cast of SPVTW are just completely lifeless! Nothing brought the energy down like these Emo-fascist fuckers!
–R-PATZ AND K-STEWS LAME-ASS KISS ATTEMPT
Because they had to, K-Stew insisted to the audience that she and R-Patz should kiss. And, WOW, was it a lame kiss.
There were probably more moments, but I’m pretty sure I missed them, so who the fuck cares!
Marisa Miller Versus Brooklyn Decker
Boobs and butts, OH MY! Two Sports Illustrated cover girls were attending the same event in Los Angeles last night! Marisa Miller and Brooklyn Decker were snapped at the Spike TV Guy’s Choice Awards and one was outshining the other. Or not.
Marisa wore a slim one-piece white dress with tons of cleavage spilling all over the place while Brooklyn was dressed in some sort of silver-colored silk napkin that looked like it was hiding a pregnancy bump. Let’s just hope these two presented an award together.
The Guy’s Choice Awards was filmed today but it won’t be shown until June 20th. WHY?!?
The “A-Team” Premiere in Los Angeles
Here’s the thing, if the big-time celebrities weren’t at the Lakers-Celtics game last night (which the Lakers WON, BTW) then they were at the red carpet world premiere of “The A-Team”! Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley, Quinton Rampage Jackson, and Liam Neeson were on hand for the premiere.
Not to be outdone by some flimsy limo, co-stars Bradley and Sharlto arrived in style as they rode on a giant Panzer tank and the rest arrived on helicopter.
You’re move, Marmaduke!
Happy Birthday, Bar & Angelina!
Two hot women celebrate their birthday today: supermodel Bar Refaeli and Angelina Jolie (who played a supermodel in “Gia”).
Bar turns a really old 25 years and Angelina turns 35.
Thor & Captain America Concept Art Revealed
The fattie folks over at AICN got hold of some awesome concept art of Chris Hemsworth as Thor and Chris Evans as Captain America.
Last April, Marvel released a single image of Chris Hemsworth in the Thor costume but the artwork below shows the full costume plus the mighty Mjolnir hammer (which made a cameo in “Iron Man 2″).
But the artwork of Chris Evans as Captain America is turning out to be much better than I expected. Of course, the biggest missing accessory are the little white wings on Cap’s head but that won’t be a problem.
I CANNOT WAIT. I MUST SEE THIS NOW!
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley – The New Transformers Girl
Well, we all speculated and debated about the new Transformers girl and Michael Bay officially announced that Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington Whiteley IS the new girl replacing Megan Fox. Unfortunately, skimpy lingerie not included in the movie…..or will it?
Alright, just to get everyone started, I will be posting a few sexy photos of Rosie’s big fat UK booty. Scope out the goods, YO!
Click on the photo to view the bigger version!
Hi-Res Topless photos on the next post!
50 Cent – 50 Pounds Later….
A few weeks after Fiddy posted the disturbing photos of himself looking emaciated and frail on his latest movie, Fiddy has flipped the switch and is back in fighting form.
Fiddy was snapped doing a concert earlier this week over in, wait for it….DENVER! Looks like all he did was eat KFC for days and a buncha candy from the Candy Shop.
Miley Cyrus Gets Fleshie In Concert
Little 16-year old Miley sure does like to anger the Conservatives, that’s for sure. In fact, MiCy got downright dirrrty as she performed a private concert last night in the city of Paris, France wearing…..THIS racy ensemble. Jailbate, anyone?
Seriously, what are the chances that Miley has ANY clue who Cheap Trick is? A gazillion-to-one!
Kristen Stewart Compares Fame To Rape
K-Stew gave an interview to Elle UK and said the following:
What you don’t see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction. I feel like I’m looking at someone being raped. A lot of the time I can’t handle it. It’s fucked. I never expected that this would be my life.
Oh, I see, so K-Stew is being acerbically funny now, huh? Making rape jokes just to show how much she hates being famous? Isn’t it ironic that K-Stew would bitch about fame to a magazine that has her big fat face on the cover!!! SCREW YOU.
Wet & Wild With Anna Paquin
I’ve never been a fan of Anna “Gap Toof” Paquin but it wasn’t until she joined the TV show “True Blood” and boning her co-stars that I realized……her big gap tooth really does distract me from her boobs.
Anyway, Anna and her “True Blood” boytoy were spotted at Venice Beach on Memorial Day and, unlike Megan Fox in Maui, Anna didn’t need no stinkin’ bikini and just went splashing into the cold water with a t-shirt and no inhibitions.
Well, at least I don’t have to see the gap tooth.
