Irina Shayk Is Not The Baby Mama
Here in the United States, we could not give an absolute flying fuck about the sport of Soccer. Not one bit. But somehow Cristiano Ronaldo has broken though that threshold of ignorance and has gained a teeny bit of fame (no thanks to those soccer-lovin’ assholes at TMZ).
And now news has spread that Cristiano is a new father to a baby boy! Normally, this news wouldn’t bother me but I was a bit shaken when I found out that his current girlfriend is none other than Sports Illustrated (and sometimes Victoria’s Secret) supermodel Irina Shayk! But since Irina was never pregnant, that means she’s not the baby mama, WHEW!
Take a breather, gentlemen. It’ll be awhile before anyone impregnates another supermodel.
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