KNOCKED UP: Doutzen Kroes
SIGH. This isn’t good news. Well, not to me anyway. Who the Hell is splattering their demon seed into my supermodels?!? Goddamn it!!! According to one of my sources, news has spread all over Holland that Dutch-born Victoria’s Secret supermodel Doutzen Kroes is indeed 13-weeks pregnant with her first child (NOOOOoooooooo!!!!!) and she was giving an interview to a Dutch talk show today to confirm the happy news. Wait, do you hear that? That’s the sound of my boner committing suicide!
No word on who the baby daddy is (yet), but the last I heard, Doutzen was dating someone named DJ Rukus (a cousin of Lenny Kravitz), but that relationship had broken off a long time ago. Either way, I’m disappointed. Who the fuck will get knocked up next, Miranda Kerr???
First, it was Alessandra Ambrosio and then it was Adriana Lima and now THIS! I can’t tolerate this shit! Stop knocking up my supermodels, you douchebag boyfriend assholes!
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