Archive for January 2011

Amber Heard Shopping With a Dude!

Three words: SCAN-DAL-OUS!

If I were a shamelessly hot lipstick lesbian like Amber, I would be so offended at that picture above. Hold on, I got a meeting in the Ladies’ Room.

Zack Snyder Hires a New “Superman”

It’s becoming a trend that nobody seems to be noticing. Almost ALL of the good superhero roles are being filled by British and/or Aussie actors! The latest news now is that “Watchmen” director Zack Snyder has hired British actor Henry Cavill to portray the new 2012 version of Superman!

So with guys like Christian Bale as Batman, Andrew Garfield as Spiderman, and Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern, are there NO more American Yanks that can do justice for these superheroes? Was Brandon Routh REALLY that bad as the previous Superman?

The New “Charlie’s Angels” Girls Announced

The TV reboot of the famed 70′s show finally announced their new trio of ladies and I am not the least bit impressed by the choices. Initially, I expected the Angels to be Amber Heard, Megan Fox, and Odette Yustman but it will not be the case.

Instead, the actors cast are Annie Ilzoneh, Rachael Taylor, and Minka Kelly.

Not exactly the same caliber of Angelic heat that I wanted but I guess whatever’s cheaper, right?

Kristen Stewart As Snow White?

You read that correctly, K-Stew as Snow White! Well, not yet officially but the Hollywood Reporter is claiming that Universal Studios is eyeing K-Stew for the lead role of the fair maiden along with Charlize Theron as The Queen.

Are you kidding me? THIS woman is what Universal Studios is considering “the fairest of them all”? What’s next, Snooki as Sleeping Beauty? FUCK!!!

Happy Birthday, Andrew Ridgeley!

Former “Wham” member Andrew Ridgeley (AKA the other guy) celebrates his 48th birthday today! It must really give Andy a big sigh of relief knowing that he’s not the one smoking weed and falling asleep while driving a car and getting arrested for it.

Either way, let’s have a special 1983 flashback shall we?

Olivia Wilde Rocks The Cleavage For Gucci

Paris Fashion Week is currently underway in gay Par-ee and Gucci held it’s show last night with special guests like Diana Kruger and Olivia Wilde and her heaving cleavage in the crowd.

Jessica Alba was also at the show, but she’s a prudish bitch so who gives a shit why she was there. Why does she always ruin everything???

Metallica Announce “Big 4″ Concert in California

The Big 4 of Thrash Metal – Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax – did a combined tour last summer over in Europe (and released a Blu-Ray of the shows last Christmas) and NOW….the Big 4 are doing it again stateside for only ONE show!

Lars Ulrich of Metallica announced that the Big 4 will do ONE scheduled show on the week of April 23rd (the week after the Coachella Festival) at the Empire polo Club in Indio, CA with tickets going on sale on Friday, January 29th! Get them here before they’re gone!

“True Grit” Gets It’s Oscar Due

The Oscar nominations for the 83rd Academy Awards were announced today and there were a couple of surprises as well as a few glaring omissions. Rather than mention the nominated list, let me point out some of the notables.

–”True Grit” gets 10 Oscar nominations including Best Picture after being so inherently snubbed by the Golden Globes for bullshit flicks like “The Tourist” and “Burlesque”. And Lea Michele should be taking a good look at her big-nosed self in the mirror for dissing Best Supporting Actress nominee Hailee Steinfeld. KARMA, BITCH!

–No Anne Hathaway! Rather than nominate Anne’s performance for her sucking-and-fucking role in “Love & Other Drugs”, her nomination got passed to actresses in roles in films that NOBODY saw like Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Lawrence.

–No Christopher Nolan! “Inception” got eight nominations for all the technical awards EXCEPT for Best Director!

Get your votes in now!

Van Halen Recording A New Album?

Yes, the REAL Van Halen are making music again! Not Van “I Can’t Drive 55″ Hagar or Van Gary Scherone, NO! The real Van Halen with David Lee Roth!

Oh, this such great news! Rolling Stone is reporting that record producer John Shanks made an (unofficial) Tweet about producing the new Van Halen record and that production is well in the beginning stages! I’m serious!

Rock and Roll hasn’t had a good party band in decades and if Van Halen stays true to their 1984 formula, it’s gonna be worth the wait, just you wait and see!

“The Roommate” Premiere in Hollywood

Virtual clones Minka Kelly and Leighton Meester were on-hand at the premiere of their new blatant rip-off flick “The Roommate” in West Hollywood last night.

It was a good thing both of them were there because no other big-time celebs showed up.

In case it’s not transparent enough, this movie is an absolute copy-and-paste of the 1992 Bridget Fonda/Jennifer Jason Leigh flick “Single White Female” for the tween crowd. The only thing missing is the onscreen sex and nudity because, hey, you gotta get the 13-year old “Gossip Girl” fans into the theaters, right?

Two More “Matrix” Sequels in 3D?

This news is courtesy of Mr. Keanu Reeves himself, although it is highly unlikely that the news may be proved to be just a rumor. Turns out that Keanu Reeves revealed some unconfirmed information regarding two new sequels for the “Matrix” franchise to a bunch of students at the London International School of Performing Arts.

Keanu also divulged that the Wachowski Bros. are in talks to possibly film the two sequels in 3D and that the brothers are also consulting with James Cameron for 3D advice. Wait a minute….didn’t his character DIE in the third movie???

UPDATE: Entertainment Weekly has made the confirmation that this piece of news is NOT true. Awww, goddamn it!

Brooklyn Decker Stays Fully Clothed For SELF

For the Esquire cover, Brooklyn got all naughty and nasty with little clothing. For the cover of SELF, she keeps it all on. Booooo!!! The SI model is the current cover girl for the February 2011 issue of SELF Magazine and in the issue she talks about health and confidence and blah blah blah.

Click on the pic to view the bigger version!

Seriously, it’s not as if the advice from a voluptuous supermodel will make a difference to others!

Happy Birthday, Billy Ocean!

Billy Ocean, one of the best Pop/R&B singers from early-to-late 80′s turns a hearty 61 years old today! There’s no describing how much his music is so bombastically cheesy and so reminiscently 80′s but, goddamn it, that’s why I love it!

Let’s have an 80′s flashback, shall we?

Doutzen Kroes Pops A Boy!

Victoria’s Secret supermodel Doutzen Kroes finally popped a boy! People Magazine confirmed that the Dutch model gave birth to a son named Phyllon.

Now I can breathe easy now that there aren’t anymore VS models that are all FAT. Now that Miranda Kerr and Doutzen aren’t pregged up, they need to get their asses back into the gym and prepare for this year’s lingerie fashion show! STAT!!!

“Lethal Weapon” To Be Rebooted?

Reports from the Hollywood Reporter are claiming that Warner Bros. is planning a couple of reboot movies for some of their titles including the classic 80′s Mel Gibson-Danny Glover smash “Lethal Weapon” movies!

This sounds like the biggest mindfuck! How the Hell are they gonna find actors as charismatic to portray the roles of Riggs & Murtaugh? It’s not possible! Michael Mann tried it for Crockett & Tubbs in the 2006 “Miami Vice” reboot and that failed miserably! STOP IT!!!

Anne Hathaway Is Catwoman

The LA Times is reporting (and confirming) that Christopher Nolan has hired “Love & Other Drugs” actress Anne Hathaway for the coveted role of Selina Kyle AKA Catwoman for “The Dark Knight Rises”!

Nolan also goes on to confirm that one of his stars from “Inception”, Tom Hardy, will play the giant steroid-induced masked maniac Bane. To be honest, Tom Hardy was an obvious choice but I’m not quite sold on having Anne Hathaway and her pasty whiteness taking on a sultry role like Catwoman. It just doesn’t make sense! Hell, if Halle Berry couldn’t pull it off…..

Minka Kelly – Naughty in GQ USA

It’s a bit odd to me that the February 2011 issue of GQ USA would NOT feature “The Roommate” star Minka Kelly on it’s cover. Instead, the honor went to a bunch of legendary athletes like Michael Jordan and Joe Namath (not that I have a problem with that). But Minka DOES have two racy and sexy lingerie photos in the issue and we have both of them!

Click on the pic to view the bigger version!

Hey, it woulda been nice to have an alternate female cover, GQ!

Miranda Kerr Breastfeeds Her Baby Boy!

Gisele Bundchen went on a rampage a couple of months ago proclaiming that all mothers should breastfeed their babies BY LAW! And now Miranda Kerr is following that new rule by posting a new photo of her baby boy sucking on her engorged boobies!

Oh lordy, you won’t see this on People Magazine!

I really can’t decide if this is photo is supposed to be considered NSFW…….

Celebutopia Resurrected on Twitter!

It’s been a long, long time since Celebutopia set up it’s Twitter account back in 2009, but it went dead and NOW….I’m bringing it back! That’s right, I’m bringing our Twitter back and now all the celebrity stories that I didn’t think are worthy to be told (or just too menial to mention) will now be told in 140 characters or less!

Check out our new Twitter page for all the hi-larious celebrity stories that nobody should care about and all the sexy stuff that you should! Your mind will not be stimulated, I can guarantee it.

Maria Sharapova Whacks It Hard!

Thank god for the super-duper quick snapshot function! Photogs snapped photos of Maria practicing some hot moves over the weekend (for some Aussie tennis tournament in Melbourne) and caught her at her sweatiest and hardest.

Yup, I guess I was wrong about her – she DOES sweat like mofo! And I bet she’s a hard whacker, too. AT TENNIS, I MEAN.