Archive for April 2011

“Transformers 3″ Trailer #2

More robots and more destruction. It ain’t a Transformers movie unless you Michael Bay adds both of them en masse. It’s only probable that Michael Bay would cut a brand new TF3 trailer complete with more robots (including an appearance with Shockwave) to go in front of screens for “Fast Five”, so here it is!

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Unfortunately, there’s still NO scenes of supermodel Rosie Huntington Whiteley spouting any lines. C’mon, Michael Bay, let the girl speak!

The Royal Wedding Summed Up In One Photo

In case you missed it, the Duchess of Cambridge arrived to the wedding in a blandly designed dress and tiara while the Duke had a giant honkin’ bald spot.

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The only shining light in this whole Royal Wedding was the reaction of THAT little girl on the balcony of Buckingham Palace. I share your pain, little girl!

Everybody Loves Kate Middleton….

Are you tired of this Kate Middleton broad and her boytoy prince yet?

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I KNOW I AM. And it’s all the fault of the goddamned American media!

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ROYAL UPDATE: As of 8 A.M. (UK time), Queen Elizabeth has officially given William & Kate the royal titles of “Duke & Duchess of Cambridge”. So that saves me all the drama of not having to watch this damned wedding. Thanks, your Queen-ness!

Jessica Alba Is Officially OLD

I know it’s hard to believe but Jessica Alba turns the big 3-0 today. She’s one of those few actresses that keeps doing movies yet she ALWAYS plays the same exact character. Sorta like Jennifer Aniston. If you look at her filmography, there isn’t a single role in the list where either one was distinguishable from the other.

Whether it’s “Fantastic 4″, or “Good Luck Chuck”, or “Into The Blue”, “Valentine’s Day”, or even “Machete” and “Little Fockers”, HOW DOES THIS GIRL STILL GET WORK??? But then again, the argument would be “Dude, but she’s hot!” – Yeah, I don’t fuckin’ think so.

For the record, I could write a whole 25-page dissertation as to why Jessica Alba is one of the worst celebrities in Hollywood…..but that would be a total waste of everyone’s time. Other than that, Happy Birthday, you heartless bitch.

Supermodels Invade the Tribeca Flm Festival

What is it about the New York Tribeca Film Festival that attracts the growing ilk of way-too-hot supermodels to its doors? The Hell if I know!

Case in point, a large group of supermodels were in attendance for the Tribeca film premiere of “Last Night” which included Doutzen Kroes, Hilary Rhoda, Karolina Kurkova, Julie Henderson, Anja Rubik, and of course, the hooter-riffic Miranda Kerr.

Okay, so maybe it’s not the most prolific group of supermodels (where’s Irina Shayk???) but hey, a threesomes a crowd!

Beastie Boys Unleash New Album Early Due To Leaks

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Due to unnecessary leaks made of the “clean version” of the new Beastie Boys LP “Hot Sauce Committee Part 2″, the terrible threesome decided to take matters in their own hands and released the “dirty version” for everyone to hear!

The album will in stores on May 3rd but all 15 tracks from HSCP2 is available for listening below, so click and listen! Don’t skip any tracks and listen to all of them.

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**Recommended tracks to listen to: “Make Some Noise”, “Don’t Play No Game That I Can’t Win”, “Funky Donkey”, “The Larry Routine”, “Lee Majors Comes Again”, “Multilateral Nuclear Disarmament”, and “Crazy Ass Shit”.**

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If there’s one thing for certain, it’s that the Beasties haven’t lost their touch for good ol’ fashioned Hip Hop. No Auto-tune and definitely none of that Electro-trash Pop. This is how it should be done!

Khloe Kardashian – Baby Got Back

I admit, I’ve watched a few episodes of the SUPER boring “Khloe & Lamar” show. There’s zero drama and ZERO charm about this show and had there been scenes of Khloe flashing her ass to the paparazzi (as seen below from last Saturday night) then MAYBE there’d be something worth watching on that show.

Butt I’m sure you’re saying, “You’re crazy, I’d rather see Kim’s phat ass not Khloe’s!” Hey, I said MAYBE.

The Other Good Thing(ies) About Miranda Kerr

If there was one good thing that emerged from Miranda Kerr’s pregnancy with Orlando Bloom’s demon-seed baby, it’s that Miranda’s breastesses have blown up to watermelon-sized proportions. Unfortunately, it affected her supermodel curves (as seen in some new ungodly bikini pics she took recently), so it’s the only good thing I’ve got left to look at.

For a girl who’s never been this big, she sure filled out! It’s a shame she’ll lose it all once the demon-seed baby suckles it all away. Orlando Bloom is an Asshole!

What’s Eating Amber Heard?

NO, that was not a euphemism! The birthday girl was spotted out in Beverly Hills yesterday with her girlfriend and didn’t seem too happy. C’mon, she only turned 25! But if she’s not happy, then I’m not happy!

What’s this world come to if a lipstick lesbian Playboy bunny can’t be all smiles and butterflies on her birthday?!? Scandalous!

Bar Refaeli Loves Hockey

I can absolutely guarantee that Bar Refaeli has NO idea how hockey works. But that don’t mean she can’t PRETEND to know….

The out-of-work Israeli supermodel was spotted at the NY Rangers game last night alongside her brother, where she sorta-kinda looked like she had a good time, I guess.

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UPDATE: This tweet from Bar’s official Twitter page confirms my suspicion.

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See, I told ya!

Happy 420 for 2011!

If you’re reading this, STOP IT. Go smoke a bowl!

Demi Lovato Is Happy (And Hefty)

Demi Lovato is taking her eating disorder treatment very seriously……

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…..Sorry, I couldn’t say that with a straight face. Wow, this girl really let herself go! She’s gotten chunkier from the last time I saw her and it’s gotta be from all those Twinkies and Ho-Ho’s that they force her to eat all day. I’m not saying she’s fat, but GOD-DAMN!

Ashley Greene’s Day @ Coachella

Ashley was filming the fifth”Twilight” flick in Vancouver but managed to still take the weekend off to attend the Coachella Valley Music Festival in Indio, CA.

In case you weren’t there (like me), the weather at Coachella can reach blistering highs of 100 degrees in mid-day, hence the reason for Ashley dressing in a bikini covered by a tank top. See the picture below.

Yeah, a little more of that, please! Now you’re probably asking, “Was Ashley there for all three days?” Here’s my answer: SHUT UP.

Heather Morris Rips Off Megan Fox!

Heather Morris (AKA the blondie cheerleader from “Glee”) is ripping off Megan Fox’s look! And by that, I mean she’s wearing the same outfit Megan wore a few years ago! WTF!!?

Click on each pic to view them separately!

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Heather is currently featured in the May 2011 issue of Esquire posing for the “50 Songs Every man Should Be Listening To” article (which was modeled last year by Candice Swanepoel). Megan definitely rocked the black mesh outfit harder than Heather.

And I meant that in a biased, boner-based way.

Evan Rachel Wood – Naughty in Esquire USA

I like Evan Rachel Wood. Sure, she might just be another pasty-white Emo actress, but she’s got some spunk that not a lot of actresses possess (I’m looking at you, Kat Dennings!). Which is why she’s featured in a 3-page edit in the May 2011 issue of Esquire Magazine!

Click on the pics to view the bigger version!

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To be honest, Evan Rachel’s pics in the magazine make her look like a mix between Kristen Bell, Nicole Kidman, and Lady Gaga. Not quite flattering, but nice. In her interview, she talks about her role in “Mildred Pierce” and her love for girls (“I’m up for anything. Meet a nice guy, meet a nice girl…”). Now THAT is what I’m talking about!

A Little More Jessica Lowndes Please!

Does anybody still watch “90210″? I certainly don’t, but that don’t mean I’m ignoring the girlies from that show! I don’t know why but Jessica Lowndes and her Megan Fox-esque quality really does tickle me in the special place down there. That and her incredibly honked-up breastesses.

But that don’t mean we can’t sneak a peek at them every once in a while, right?

The “90210″ hottie was in London and the paps got to see her all meshy and fleshy.

What Happened To Nicole Eggert???

Holy Donut Holes, what the Hell happened to Nicole Eggert?!?

Over a year ago, I saw photos of Nicole getting on track to shedding her weight and getting back into fighting “Baywatch” form. I remember seeing her on Celebrity Fit Club and was even exercising with Kim Kardashian at one point! And now, I don’t even know what it is I’m looking at!

Photogs caught up with Nicole over the weekend and, I swear to God, I have to give props to the photographer for even recognizing her! Why, Nicole, WHY!??!

January Jones Loves French Fries

No real news here. Just an unintentionally nasty photo of January Jones. With a long limp French Fry. And a wide open mouth. I am so goddamned jealous at that French Fry.

Alessandra Ambrosio Is Officially Old

Did you know that Alessandra Ambrosio celebrates her birthday today? She turns the dreaded 3-0 which makes her the FOURTH oldest Victoria’s Secret Angel along with Heidi Klum, Tyra Banks, and Marisa Miller to get past that age mark.

But at least she’s not alone cuz her VS co-worker Adriana Lima is also turning the big 3-0 next month, so HA! Rico Suave, bitch!

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The geriatric Brazilian supermodel was in Las Vegas over the weekend (pfft, slacker) to celebrate at the newly opened Marquee Nightclub in the Cosmopolitan Hotel and sported a bikini inside a low-cut….umm, dress? Because, as we all know, you’re not a celebrity unless you celebrate your birthday at a lavish Las Vegas nightclub.

So what’s the one thing that Alessandra has to worry about at this point in her career? Getting trampled by the much younger Candice Swanepoel.

[Photo Credit: Alessandra's Beijos]

Happy Birthday, Lisa Stansfield!

Today is the 45th birthday of one of the best R&B/Soul/Dance singers to bust out from the early 90′s, Lisa Stansfield! While Lisa had a minor hit in early 2001, the majority of her success came in the early 90′s when she had hit songs like “All Around The World”, “This Is The Right Time”, “People Hold On”, and “Never, Never Gonna Give You Up” ruling the charts.

Click on the pic to view the bigger version!

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It was a bit of an odd transformation in the late 90′s when Lisa lost a lot of weight and nearly became a completely different person. When you compare what she looks like now to how she used to look 20 years ago, you wouldn’t be able to tell it was the same person, I kid you not.

But that’s okay, to me all that matters is her Soulful music and, let me tell ya, Auto-tune be damned because THIS is how you do Pop Music the right way!

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Let’s have an early 90′s flashback in celebration, shall we?

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I wish the Pop Music that gets played on the radio nowadays sounded as good as this. Trust me, I would gladly run over artists like ke$ha and Willow Smith to hear good music like this again!