Archive for July 2011

Olivia Wilde Versus Pro-Activ

No, this isn’t some kind of lawsuit or anything like that. Think of it as more of a call to attention. First of all, I can’t get enough of Olivia. I want to see her in more movies and more magazine covers (dressed half-naked, preferably) and I want to see more of her fantastically phat ass!

But there’s trouble in paradise because, apparently, the “Cowboys & Aliens” starlet just seems to have an enormous problem with acne! In all her publicity photos, the zits are not visible (no thanks to lots of make-up), but without it, her acne is REALLY bad! Dear god, this Heavenly Angel is flawed, NOOOooooo!!!

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And now that news has surfaced that Olivia may portray legendary porn star Linda Lovelace, it’s time that Olivia get herself that Pro-Activ pack! Life’s too short for bad skin in a Porno!

Adriana Lima Exposes Her Bikini Body….

….Well, whatever’s left of it anyway. The “Head Angel” was spotted taking a cool dip at Miami Beach and it’s plain to see that Mrs. Lima just isn’t the same curvy Angel we once knew all those years ago. Ever since she married that asshole basketball player and then gave birth to a baby girl, her body’s taken a lightspeed spiral DOWN to Cellulite Town.

Here, take a look.

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And it doesn’t stop with Adriana, either. Alessandra Ambrosio and Miranda Kerr have both taken very big hits to their bodies in terms of their curvature. Thank god for mutherfuckin’ Photoshop, otherwise, these women would look like troglodytes.

Olivia Wilde Goes Bohemian-Punk For Nylon Magazine

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Being that I’m from Los Angeles, I must be really, really, REALLY out of touch with fashion. Every single time I look at the latest cover for Nylon Magazine and it’s corresponding fashion edits, I always think whether I’m not hip enough to dress up like all those retro-bohemian-hippie punks that are displayed in the pages. I mean, SERIOUSLY, I’ve never seen ANYBODY in Los Angeles dressed up like this! Either that or I’m just not hanging out in the “cool, hipster” places.

Speaking of hipster, Olivia Wilde is on the August 2011 cover of Nylon Magazine and she’s all hipster’d out. And, to be honest, she looks really trashy. Anybody that wears the kinds of clothes that Olivia wears in the pics below are deluded if they think it’s fashionable. I DISAPPROVE. I’ll take Armani Xchange clothes over any of this garbage any day.

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

New Beavis & Butt-Head Footage Unveiled @ SDCC 2011

The newswire had gone cold for the past couple of months regarding new episodes for the revamped version of “Beavis & Butt-Head”, but not no more! Series creator Mike Judge finally unveiled brand new B&B footage to the San Diego Comic-Con last night and, let me tell ya, I was not disappointed one bit.

The new footage features the classic duo in classic form (no new changes were made to the animation style) and a special appearance by the one and only Cornholio. And, as usual, B&B skew pop culture by watching music videos in between segments – but for the SDCC preview, B&B skew the cast of “Jersey Shore” (“This is like a family tree if your family was made of whores” says Butt-Head) making it ALL the better!

Watch the full 4-minute clip below!

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After watching this clip, Beavis and Butt-Head are back and ready to rule MTV once more! Mike Judge keeps the same aesthetic to the animation, making it look like a continuation of where B&B left off in 1997, and if that turns you off, then you were NEVER a fan to begin with! I eagerly await for October when the new episodes start rolling out…..BUNGHOLE!!!

Vanessa Minnillo Flaunts Her Bikini Booty

I was trying think back to what it is I know Vanessa Minnillo for and I could only remember her as being a host for “Total Request Live” at one time. I mean, other than being married to that guy from the boy band 98 Degrees, what the Hell else is she known for???

I don’t know, but everyone seems to like her enough to want to keep talking about her, so I’ll just play along and ride that donkey. Oh, and speaking of donkey, here’s a few pics of Vanessa’s big ol’ ba-donk-a-donk!

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The MTV hostess was on holiday with her boy band husband over at St. Barths and flashed that booty like nobody’s business. Sure, it ain’t chunky as Bar Refaeli’s ass, but WHATEVER. Good on you, guy from 98 Degrees!

90′s R&B/Hip-Hop Albums That Need Remastering. NOW!

In a world where the musical landscape is bombarded with over-produced drivel and Auto-tuned garbage, it makes music fans like myself cringe at how far down the quality of R&B/Hip-Hop has gone. I mean, does anyone even remember a time when there used to be R&B/Hip-Hop groups? A time when a song could stay on the charts and become a classic? A time when MTV used to PLAY music videos??? All that has become a bygone era.

But back in the early 90′s, R&B/Hip-Hop was really dominating the mainstream and many of the songs and music videos made a cultural impact on the youth of America. These types of artists were doing genres like R&B, Hip-Hop, Pop, and New Jack Swing and it made listening to music fun. If you knew these songs and artists, you were considered “cool” by your peers. Not so much with the current artists nowadays….

With that said, I’m taking it upon myself to list a collection of early 90′s R&B/Hip-Hop albums that need remastering. I’m not talking about a “Greatest Hits” collection with a few remixed songs, I mean a full-on track-by-track upgrade! These albums deserve to get recognized once again for the brilliant (and sometimes corny) songs they’ve place upon us and I ain’t one to skimp out on a good album!

In no particular order:

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TONI BRAXTON “TONI BRAXTON”

To me, Toni’s first album is and will ALWAYS be her best work. Every song in the album is a virtual hit and with production by the LaFace team, there was no way this album could go wrong. Hit tracks include “Another Sad Love Song”, “Love Shoulda Brought You Home”, “Breathe Again”, and “You Mean The World To Me”. I await the day when Toni decides to return to her roots and do another album like this one.

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JODECI “FOREVER MY LADY”

Considered the “Bad boys” of Hip-Hop, the guys at Jodeci debuted their first album under the New Jack Swing genre and unleashed a number of big memorable New Jack hits such as, “Come And Talk To Me”, “Stay”, “Forever My Lady”, and “I’m Still Waiting”. Rumors have been floating for years of a reunion but until that happens, we’ll just have to wait….

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BELL BIV DEVOE “POISON”

With the unforgettable lyric of “Never trust a big butt and a smile“, the homeboys from BBD brought New Jack Swing into the 90′s with the killer single “Poison”. Other hit tracks include “Do Me” and “When Will I See You Smile Again?” With the title track featured in the 2004 smash-hit videogame “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas”, the feedback was positive, which only means that remaster should’ve followed!

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MARY J. BLIGE “WHAT’S THE 411?”

Mary’s first album was an excellent debut that has it’s fair share of Hip-Hop classics (without all the intimate drama that came in her subsequent albums after this one). Mary displays her Hip-Hop prowess in full force in tracks like “Real Love”, “What’s the 411?” and “Love No Limit” that I haven’t seen her do since then. This album will always be reminder of why I like Mary J. Blige. REMASTER PLEASE!

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MARIAH CAREY “MARIAH CAREY”

Can you believe that NONE of Mariah’s albums have ever received a remaster? I certainly can’t believe it considering how many big hits she’s had since her debut. Speaking of which, Mariah’s debut album is (in my very honest opinion) the very best one in her entire discography. You can argue about other albums like “Music Box” or “Daydream” or even “Emancipation of Mimi”, but without her first album, there would be no Mariah (and the billions of copycats out there).

With killer songs like, “Vision Of Love”, “I Don’t Wanna Cry”, “Love Takes Time, and “Someday”, I find it a sacrilege that this album has never gotten the upgrade it deserves. Take note, Columbia Records! REMASTER IT!!!

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COLOR ME BADD “C.M.B.”

I’ll admit it: Color Me Badd is my ultimate guilty pleasure and I am NOT ashamed to say it! I simply love this album and nothing you say will pry me away from it. Yes, I understand that lots of people consider them to be a novelty act that let it’s image overtake its musical talent (and believe me, they had it) but it doesn’t mean their music was “badd” (hah, get it?).

There’s no way you can mention early 90′s Hip-Hop without mentioning the ultra-hot tracks of “I Wanna Sex U Up”, “All 4 Love”, “I Adore, Mi Amor”, and “Groove My Mind”. This group deserves a remaster simply for the reason that it wouldn’t be the early 90′s without them.

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S.W.V. “IT’S ABOUT TIME”

Wait a sec, a female group? With soul? Yup, that’s what you got with SWV. With lead singer Coco, the group debuted their album and garnered a chunk of big classic ol’ skool hits such as “I’m So Into You”, “Downtown”, “Weak”, and of course, “Right Here (Human Nature)”, which was horribly sampled by that mutherfucker, Chris Brown. What’s the hold up, we need a remaster!

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JANET JACKSON “janet.”

I remember very distinctly back in 1993 when Janet’s first single from this album called “That’s The Way Love Goes” (and its video which featured a then-unknown J-Lo) was released, everyone I knew instantly loved it. Janet re-teamed with Jam & Lewis for her sexually charged follow-up to “Rhythm Nation 1814″ and what we got was an instant classic. With killer songs like “If”, “Because Of Love”, “Again”, and “Anytime, Anyplace”, how could this album still not be remastered??? C’mon, Virgin Records!!!

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BOYZ II MEN “II”

While the group’s first album (“Cooleyhighharmoney”) was a hit in it’s own right, it was the group’s second album that launched R&B into the stratosphere like a rocket. The first single entitled, “I’ll Make Love To You” was an instant smash and the follow up singles, “On Bended Knee” and “Water Runs Dry” helped cement the group’s status as hitmakers. Unfortunately, their follow-up efforts have gone largely ignored, but the group is still together and still touring. REMASTER!!!

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EN VOGUE “FUNKY DIVAS”

What, another female group with Soul? Goddamn right! The ladies of En Vogue ruled most of 1992 with their smash singles “My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It)” and “Givin’ Him Something He Can Feel”. There’s no question that this group deserves a remastered album.

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R. KELLY “12 PLAY”

Yes, I couldn’t ignore the one and only R Kelly. Think what you want about him but his music is too good, especially the music from “12 Play”. R. Kelly brought his R&B swagger to his solo debut and churned out big tracks like, “Bump & Grind”, “Your Body’s Calling”, “Sex Me” (featuring a then-unknown singer named Aaliyah), and “Summer Bunnies”. REMASTER!!!

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I really am amazed at how these albums have gone largely ignored by these groups and their record labels. Like I said before, these albums deserve a second chance to shine and I’m sure music fans like myself would definitely appreciate and BUY them.

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OH, I’M NOT DONE WITH THIS LIST! TO BE CONTINUED……..

Top 5 Supermodels That Are Mistaken For Victoria’s Secret Angels

Let’s get straight to the point: people can be dumb. And nothing is funnier than dumb people (hey, just look at that guy that predicted the Rapture). But it really yanks my chain when media people just spout off supermodel names and just automatically claim that a particular supermodel is a “Victoria’s Secret Angel”. Really, IT DOES. I am very anal retentive when it comes to the Angels because these are the girls I see in my VS catalog and, as we all know, posing for VS is practically like winning the supermodel lottery because it it can only mean good things.

And let’s also distinguish that the yearly Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is ALSO like winning a model lottery because it enables the chosen models that walk for their show to become honorary “Angels” (though not part of the elite brand), giving them even more opportunities.

But allow me to point out the select few supermodels that have ZERO association with the brand. These are the models that a lot of media people tend to conjoin their names with VS, but it just isn’t TRUE! Don’t fall for the lies! These models are NOT part of Victoria’s Secret in any way! Who am I talking about? Oh, let me list the top FIVE for ya!

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE LIST!

Olivia Wilde Channels Veronica Lake for LA Times Magazine

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Can Olivia Wilde pull off the whole exotic glamorous Golden-Age-blonde look? Can she pull off the Veronica Lake gaze and luster? To be honest, she can’t but that doesn’t mean she looks bad. While Olivia does look really awful with blonde hair (it doesn’t match her exotic eyes),…..she ummm……Ah, fuck it, I HATE IT, she looks so much better as a brunette.

Regardless, the “Cowboys & Aliens” hottie appears on the latest cover of LA Times Magazine and shows off her glamorous side, which I liked better than the piece of crap photoshoot she did for Marie Claire. Except for the whole blonde hair wig thing.

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Harry Potter 8 Death Toll – Who Dies?

Now that the final installment of “The Deathly Hallows” is in theaters, I find it very fitting to spoil it for everyone! Hop along and read all about Harry and his magic wand! Although I did find the scene of Harry and Ron getting topless in front of Hermione a bit weird….

Anyway, if you’ve read the book, then you know what happens. But if you’ve neglected the books and don’t feel like watching the movie, then click on the link below to read about who lives and who dies!

And just in case I wasn’t clear enough….SPOILER ALERT!!!!

CLICK HERE TO READ WHO DIES IN HARRY POTTER 8!

Do Candice Swanepoel and Lindsay Ellingson Hate Each Other?

I hate it when supermodels have beef with each other. I mean, they should be having slumber parties and pink panty pillow fights! In this case, we got two Victoria’s Angels that just don’t seem to want to stand next to each other in photos.

As I was looking through these new photos of a Victoria’s Secret charity event that was held a few days ago, I noticed a few things: hot cameltoe and lots of amped up cleavage. But other than those, I also noticed that hotties Candice Swanepoel and Lindsay Ellingson were staying so far apart from each other as if one of them had chlamydia or something.

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It was as if these two were purposely being kept apart in order to not allow them to get into a big ol’ sexy bitchfight in the middle of the floor. Oh man, can you imagine these two blondes just slapping and clawing at each other as they yell obscenities like “You fuckin’ cunt-licking dicksucking ass-reaming bitch!” or “You’re the one who’s a cum-guzzling slut!” or even “Go swallow a bowl of black cock, you FUPA-having bush-pig whore!“? I know I can!

Here, browse the rest of these pics and see if I’m right or just plain right. Notice how Candice gets all touchy-feely with Erin Heatherton, Lily Aldridge, and Alessandra Ambrosio but NOT Lindsay. Hmmm……

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Oh, they TOTALLY hate each other, don’t get me wrong! I can see it in the body language. In the same way that supermodels Adriana Lima and Isabeli Fontana hate each others guts, Candice and Lindsay seem like the best of friends……or maybe not.

Wet & Wild With Kelly Brook

Kelly Brook. In a bikini. That’s pretty much it.

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Congrats, you’re reading this sentence instead of looking at the pics above.

Olivia Wilde Gets Sensuous on Marie Claire August 2011

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Other than Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Olivia is the other hottie ready to dominate our summer with her topless (though, PG-13ish I’m sure) scene from “Cowboys & Aliens”. That’s pretty much it. To top it off, Olivia appears on the August 2011 cover of Marie Claire showing off as much sideboob without looking distasteful. Not that it matters!

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Miranda Kerr to wear the Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Bra 2011

I had been noticing a whole shitload of Tweets and rumors regarding this year’s VS Angel recipient to wear the coveted Fantasy Bra. Last year’s Fantasy Bra inhabitant was Adriana Lima and she totally FUCKED IT UP and, hopefully, this year’s recipient won’t do the same.

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Which Angel am I talking about? Well, three names were in the running: Alessandra Ambrosio, Doutzen Kroes, and Miranda Kerr. According to various Tweets by VS designers (which I’m sure got deleted), they mentioned that one of the Angels wearing the bra was “back with a vengeance”. That crosses out Alessandra and leaves only Doutzen and Miranda. A few days later, a spoiler Tweet got posted revealing that it was Miranda Kerr wearing it.

And it’s easy to see why considering that Miranda has undergone a really big transformation in her post-pregnancy. If you look at the photos below, Miranda seems to have gotten herself some LARGE breastesses and they definitely look a bit enhanced considering she gave birth almost 4 months ago. Scope out these candid photos from the last couple of weeks.

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See what I mean? UNREAL! Those are DEFINITELY worthy of a Fantasy Bra. Sorry, Alessandra Ambrosio and Doutzen Kroes, YOU LOSE.

[While I'm sure all of this is already old news to Miranda Kerr fans, everyone else outside of the supermodel world now knows the truth!]

Rachel Nichols – Maxim Covergirl August 2011

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It’s a shame that Rachel Nichols, a natural blonde beauty, had to endure the “Cosmo-fake-Photoshopped-cleavage” look. When you browse the August cover of Maxim, the first thing you’ll see is her boobies all clumped together, but don’t be fooled! Photoshop is very heavily used in her edit but, then again, it’s not really a reason for me to complain, is it? Yeah, whatever.

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Kim Kardashian Covers Cosmo. A-GAIN.

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Kim Kardashian is the August 2011 cover girl for Cosmo. This makes it her umpteenth cover for them and she decided that all she needed was a giant sweater that doesn’t reveal ANYTHING. Good for you, Kim!

Click on the pic to view the bigger version!

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The article in the magazine is about……well, Kim, of course, and how SHE is just so unbelievably famous. Read it for yourself when it arrives on newsstands next week.

Getting Sexy w/ Alexandra Stan on the 4th of July!

Here in the US of A, we’re celebrating our country’s re-birth by having a big ol’ fatass celebration! Fireworks, heat, and BAR-B-Q is how we do it, but now it just got even hotter due to hottie Romanian singer Alexandra Stan!

I’ll admit that I don’t enjoy EVERY Pop song that I hear on the radio (Britney’s “Til The World Ends” pisses me right off), but one of the artists that I just recently discovered on the radio is a blonde Elisha Cuthbert-lookalike named Alexandra Stan, who just happens to have a catchy trio of tunes that were just too irresistibly impossible to ignore.

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The songs entitled, “Lollipop”. “Mr. Saxobeat”, and “Get Back (ASAP)” are hot club hits that make you shake your ass! To put an even bigger cherry on top of those hot tracks, her music videos are just as gratuitously hot (almost bordering on porn) and, goddamn it, you will watch them!

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Check out her videos and tell me you can’t watch it without pausing to stare….suck on that J-LO!

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(Unfortunately, goddamned Youtube has disabled all embeds for her third video, so this live version is all I can get, but it’s still hot!)

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I plan on celebrating my 4th of July by blasting these tunes on high while I grill up some hot grits! Enjoy!

Transformers 3 Death Toll – Who Dies?

*SPOILER ALERT* Considering that this is probably the last Transformers flick that we’ll see in a while, it’s only fitting that some good guys die and some bad guys….well, die! Michael Bay made certain that any of the characters that die in the movie will stay dead and he certainly kept his promise!

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If you haven’t seen TF3 yet (and plan on doing so this weekend), avoid reading the article below because it is just chock full of fantastic spoilers. Otherwise, if you just wanna avoid the hassle and ruin it for everyone, then read on!

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CLICK HERE TO READ THE LIST OF WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES!

Transformers Dark of the Moon Review Part 2

Ok well, after sitting in the theater for over two hours watching this movie, I must admit, Michael Bay has outdone himself.I truly believe that even without Megan, this installment of the franchise is by far the best. It has the most action of the three. Shia, as always, plays an outstanding character. His antics and comedic take on Sam is what makes the movie for those that are not just into the CGI and action. Speaking of CGI, it is beyond genius what they did with this movie. The movie seems so real. I did not see it in 3-D so I cannot comment on the way it looks, but the standard rez movie is one to definately go and see. Now, Rosie did an okay job. In my last entry I said I was wondering how they where going to approach the fact that Sam is now with another girl. It was brought up twice in the movie. It was said that Mikaela broke up with him and broke his heart. He then found Carly (Rosie’s character) while getting a medal from POTUS (President of the United States). A short sweet way to phase out Megan’s character. Now getting back to the movie itself. I won’t tell you exactly what happens in the movie because I do not want to ruin it for you guys. Let’s just sum it up in these words.

They make BumbleBee out to be a bad ass MOFO. He whoops some Decepticon azz. One of the main Autobots does not make it through the movie(I won’t say who). There is a scene where BumbleBee is about to get his azz handed to him by one of the Decepticons, and looks sad and defeated. There is a touching moment between him and Sam where BumbleBee says “We’ve had a good run.” It was pretty touching if you are a sensitive person. In this movie, Megatron is a worn out old beat up truck of some sort. Starscream even refers to him as being beat up and weak. If you recall in the final scenes of the last Transformers movie, Optimus tears off part of Megatrons face. Well, in this movie his face is still pretty much gone. The plot to this movie is somewhat better then the previous ones. There is a bad azz Autobot Ferrari. He’s red and has an Italian accent. I don’t know what it is with Sam’s girlfriends. They are always screaming his name. Megan did it quite a few times in the previous installment and Rosie does it a bit in this installment. All in all it was a pretty exciting movie. You get it all. Comedy, action, CGI, special effects, and a bit of drama. I give this movie an A-, but don’t take my word for it. GO SEE IT!!!

Emma Watson Covers Seventeen Magazine

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Isn’t Emma Watson a little too old to be featured on the cover of Seventeen Magazine? Seriously, how the blue fuckin’ Hell does she move from the cover of Vogue to the teeny-bopper bullshit pages of Seventeen??? The Hell if I’ll ever find out.

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!