Archive for August 2011

Emma Stone & Olivia Wilde To Beautify for Revlon

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Earlier this summer, I made the sarcastic joke to Revlon that they should FIRE that douchebag Jessica Alba and hire hottie Olivia Wilde to rep their products (knowing that it wouldn’t happen). Why? Because of a paparazzi picture that I saw of Olivia rockin’ the red-hot lipstick.

Lo and behold, I probably jinxed it because Revlon made the announcement today and has indeed hired two NEW hotties for their cosmetics line: Emma Stone AND….Olivia Wilde. Goddamn, I am a psychic!

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According to the press release, they will be the new “global brand ambassadors, the up-and-coming actresses will appear in various television, print and digital campaigns beginning in early 2012“. So that means we’re STILL stuck with looking at the big fat faces of Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, a buncha old-ass dinosaurs! Fuckin’ ay!

Erin Heatherton’s Solution To Weight Loss!

Ever wondered how Victoria’s Secret supermodels like Erin Heatherton get that wafer-thin but super slim body? Exercise? Buncha crunches and sit-ups? Tae-Bo? NO, WRONG SIR! NO TRIX FOR YOU!! YOU GET NOTHING!!!

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It’s simple: chain-smoking! Just buy a 36-pack of Marlboros and just smoke them up while purging out your latest lunch and you’ll have a body as janky and sexy as Erin Heatherton’s.

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Dear God, why didn’t I think of this? I could use a quick solution to lose an extra, oh…..hundred pounds.

Alessandra Ambrosio & The Lucky Surfboard

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I could not be more envious of that surfboard that Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio is straddling. C’mon now! I bet not even her baby daddy gets that kinda action. Rumors going around the Supermodel circle was that Alessandra secretly flew to Hawaii last weekend for a secret family rendezvous, but then she pretty much blew her own cover by tweeting to the world that she was there. HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET???

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Hey, at least Alessandra is a lot more physical at the beach than that prude I’ll-jump-in-the-water-and-get-a-little-wet bitch Adriana Lima! Straddle that long wooden board!

[CREDIT: Alessandra's Beijos]

Dianna Agron Covers for Cosmo September 2011

Dianna Agron, who is the least unattractive girl in the entire GLEE cast, is featured on the September 2011 cover of Cosmo. And guess what? She’s become another victim of the “Cosmo Photoshopped Cleavage Club”. Just like previous covers with Olivia Wilde and Hayley Williams, Dianna’s boobs get overtly exaggerated and propped so high, it’s as if she’s wearing the tightest bra. Why does Cosmo always do this???

On top of that, they give Dianna two extra covers and THOSE are just as overtly Photoshopped!

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Amber Heard Strips Down For Playboy

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Okay, so maybe the title was a bit of an exaggeration, but she IS featured in a special 20-Questions article for the September 2011 issue of Playboy Magazine (with UK model Daisy Lowe on the cover) with a special 2-page 60′s-inspired photo spread that makes this reviewer hot! In her article, Amber talks about her early-career naked scenes, sexuality, and the joy of being a lipstick lesbian!

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Again, it’s still a damned shame that Amber got passed over for the cover. Sure, she’s not naked in these particular pics but I would rather stare at Amber’s half-clothed body instead of that UK model that nobody in America knows of!

Amber Heard Covers Nylon For Guys

“The Playboy Club” starlet Amber Heard doesn’t appear on enough magazine covers. Instead, we get bombarded month-after-month with old goddamned celebs like Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston and Drew Barrymore and Reese Witherspoon and Gwyneth Paltrow. What kind of fucked up scandalous world do we live in where the up-and-coming young and hot girls get overshadowed by those geriatric geezers??? Amber has done numerous photoshoots for magazines yet about 95% of her photos never make the cover! For god’s sake, an old hag like Cobi Smulders got her own Maxim cover, yet Amber got NOTHING. BLASPHEMY!

Anyway, as usual, Amber is NOT on the cover of the September 2011 issue of Nylon For Guys but she does have a four-page edit with two sexy photos for your visual pleasure. Check it out below!

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Click on the pics to view the bigger version!

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I do realize that Amber’s official website posted these pics already, but her people can’t scan worth a shit, so feast on these HQ scans instead!

Rihanna Re-Glams It Up For Glamour Magazine

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Rihanna is the September cover girl for Glamour. I swear to god, this girl has been on the cover of every magazine for the last six months! There must be something funky brewing in the juju that’s causing all this popularity, otherwise I’d be hard-pressed to think why Riri would need this many covers! But it don’t matter ’cause it’s not like I buy them for the articles anyway. Although she does talk about her love for Katy Perry…..

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Christina Hendricks Gets Colorful for Glamour Magazine

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Oh look, ANOTHER redhead! Everyone’s favorite curvaceous “Mad Men” star (no, not Jon Hamm, unfortunately) Christina Hendricks appears in the September issue of Glamour. In the issue, she flaunts different colors and shows how to “work them”. Plus she reveals SIX different things about herself including the ever-so-popular “I was bullied in school” fact that seems to be the popular claim with all the beautiful celebs nowadays.

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Marisa Miller – Professional Paddle Boarder!

Well, now that supermodel Marisa Miller ain’t working for Victoria’s Secret nor is she a Sports Illustrated model nor is she a Harley Davidson spokesperson nor is she a Captain Morgan’s Rum wench….what the Hell is she doing nowadays? Turns out that the blonde-mopped supermodel has been hard-at-work designing her own line of paddle boards (basically, a surfboard that you stand on and paddle with an oar).

She made another rare appearance on the Conan O’Brien show last night (minus the gratuitous cleavage-heaving red dress from her last appearance) to help promote the sporting line. While the interview consisted of Conan doing his “you’re-so-hot” jive talk, it was the last half of the interview that was a bit of a trip.

Check it out, she can walk on water in high heels!

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Man, I sure do miss Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She was so hot in Transformers 3…..WHAT, HUH??? What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Marisa Miller. Whatever.

Miranda Kerr Gets Animal-Friendly

FACT: Miranda Kerr has to do numerous photoshoots for so many different magazines and catalogs. And for this particular session, they decided to pair the 6th highest paid supermodel with….a giant white horse (with an impending horse boner, apparently).

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I don’t know why but it’s just too funny. Pic of the Day!