Archive for kroq_jock

Morena Baccarin Is Succulent For Esquire USA October 2012


If I had my choice between Morena Baccarin or Cobie Smulders for the role of Maria Hill in “The Avengers“, I’da chosen Morena simply because she looks like she can pull off the role better than Cobie did. But it didn’t happen so what do I fuckin’ know, right?

The Homeland starlet appears in the October issue of Esquire USA (with Clint Eastwood on the cover) for their “Women We Love” series where she talks about loving “succulent” things.

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Hayden Panatierre Cuts The Fat for Women’s Health USA October 2012


The last time I saw a photo of Hayden, she was all chunky monkey fat. All those years of not doing anything since the cancellation of Heroes really took it’s toll. But I guess she lost most of that chunky fat cuz now she’s on the cover of the October issue of Women’s Health talking about make-up tips and not eating salty foods and all that other stupid weight-loss shit.

There’s only one new pic in the mag and I didn’t feel like doing the rest, so just buy it and read it for yourself when it comes out in two weeks.

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Jenna Jameson Used To Be The Hottest Woman Alive…..


Boys and girls, there used to be a time in America when former Pornstar Jenna Jameson wasn’t getting into car crashes or getting DUI’s or getting into scuffles with her husband. There was also a time when Jenna didn’t look like a surgical nightmare, too. But, in her defense, at least she hasn’t gotten all God-head or become some Born again Christian cuz she still seems to enjoy the flaunting her poontang (or whatever’s left of it anyway).

Case in point, Jenna was in Las Vegas over the Labor Day weekend hosting a party at the Crazy Horse III, a special little Gentlemen’s Club that specializes in VIP service, wink wink. It’s just too bad she doesn’t strip anymore, unlike her other peers like Tera Patrick. Maybe one day…..

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Ashley Greene Goes Pink For “The Apparition” Premiere


I like Ashley Greene. In Pictures. I’ve yet to like her in any of her movies, though. For her new flick, “The Apparition”, Ashley plays some girl in some horror movie who has to do a few scenes in her underwear. Cuz no horror movie would complete without the blatant and unnecessary bits of female semi-nudity, right? Hey, even if the movie stinks (which I’m very sure it will), I can just freeze frame the good parts of her ass and ignore the rest of this movie.

In an unusually uncommon move, Ashley’s premiere for her newest scare flick was held last night at the Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood, a full 24 hours before the flick’s nationwide release. But, then again, it’s probably common that the movie will still suck. Bring on that next Twilight movie!

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CLICK HERE FOR MORE PREMIERE PICS!

“The Dark Knight Rises” Spoiler Reference Guide


Although the tragedy in Aurora sent shockwaves through the movie community, it didn’t stop me from going to the movies to watch TDKR in IMAX. I refuse to live in fear of an idiot asshole wannabe Emo-psychopath! That being said, to those of you that are not sure about going to the movies this weekend but still want to know all the details of TDKR, look no further. I will provide details of most of the important plotpoints relating to the Nolan Batman trilogy.

If you DO plan on seeing TDKR, I suggest not reading the article because of rampant spoilers, otherwise, click below to get started!

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

“The Dark Knight Rises” Cast Party Hard during Premiere Night!


The world premiere for “The Dark Knight Rises” was held in the NYC last night and (almost) all the major players from the flick were in attendance including Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, and director Chris Nolan.

After the premiere, the cast strutted down the the NY Public Library (yeah, I don’t get it, either) to hold the afterparty where everyone got smashed! Check it out!

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CHECK OUT MORE TDKR PARTY PICS!

“The Amazing Spider-Man” Spoiler References Guide


The new Spider-Man reboot flick is here and it pretty much just tells a less interesting version of the story done by Tobey Maguire back in 2002. That being said, the latest Spidey flick incorporates more comic book elements and doesn’t try to rush itself like the first one (although it may be one of it’s weaker points, story-wise).

Wanna know what most of the differences are between the 2002 and 2012 flick? Click below for (most) of the details but remember, SPOILERS AHEAD if you didn’t catch the reboot yet! (Just note that it’s been years since I’ve seen the first Tobey Spidey flick, so my memory is a bit rusty and creaky, so bear with me if I make a few errors to the Tobey flick.)

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CLICK HERE FOR THE SPOILERS!

Victoria Justice Glows For Self Magazine July 2012


Why isn’t Victoria Justice on more magazine covers? That’s my only question: WHY?!? As of late, we’ve been bombarded with crappy covergirls like Khloe Kardashian, Pink, Demi Lovato, Julianne Hough, Kate Moss, and Maria Menounos yet nobody takes notice of this brunette hottie! Instead, Vicki gets shoved in Self Magazine all the way to the very BACK of the issue where nobody except ME noticed her. This is so goddamned STUPID! This girl deserves more attention than that Ho-Ho-Twinkie-eating fattie Demi Lovato!

Anyway, the VicTORIous starlet makes a four-page appearance in the latest issue of Self Magazine (with Fergie on the cover) where she reveals some make-up tips and her favorite music playlist (she likes The Darkness, who knew!).

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Kate Beckinsale Bares Some Hot Abs for Women’s Health July/August 2012


The fact that Kate is a lazy bum that doesn’t work out and chainsmokes yet still looks like million bucks really bothers me. Really, it does. Anyway, the hot Brit appears in the newest issue of Women’s Health to promote her newest reboot flick, “Total Recall” (where she takes on the femme fatale role originally played by Sharon Stone).

Shit, and I thought she would be the alien with the three boobs.

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

“The Avengers” Spoiler Reference Guide *UPDATED*


Now that “The Avengers” has blasted it’s way into theaters (and made more money than everyone else), it’s time I make a guide that points out most of the in-movie references as well as plot points that may show up in the sequels for Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor.

Ready for a spoiler-filled journey? Click below if you dare (but remember, it’s on you if I spoiled it)!

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[UPDATE 05/06/12: I went to a second screening of "Avengers" and now I have more concise and clearer details of certain events and plotpoints that I missed the first time!]

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE (INCOMPLETE) GUIDE!

Sara Jean Underwood Gets Hot & Sweaty For Men’s Fitness Magazine June 2012


Maxim Magazine is dead to me. DEAD! I will have NO MORE of their lies! After so many years of shitty covergirl choices (90% of their choices are horrible), I’ve gone cold turkey from Maxim’s bullshit and have moved on to my new haven for hot ladies: health and fitness magazines for men! Turns out that some of the more hotter women in showbiz are doing sexier spreads for mags like Men’s Health and Men’s Fitness and it was right under our noses!

In this case, former PMOY and Attack Of The Show hostess Sara Underwood gives a hot and sweaty editorial for the June issue of Men’s Fitness where she talks about being “too hot and unapproachable” for other guys in the gym. [Oh, she is such a lying bitch!]

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Victoria Justice Goes Retro For Nylon Magazine May 2012


It’s unfortunate that Victoria Justice wasn’t given the cover for the May 2012 issue of Nylon (the cover went to a trio of other actresses I could care less about) because she’s a super beautiful girl that reminds of my all-time favorite soap actress Vanessa Marcil.

Anyway, VJ is in a 6-page article for the May issue of Nylon where she dresses up in 1920′s-type clothing (hey, at least it ain’t like the bullshit “cowboy” clothes that Nina Dobrev wore in the February issue). Check it out!

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Dakota Fanning Shows Her Mature Side For California Style Magazine May 2012


Back when Dakota was on the cover of Cosmo a few months earlier, everyone bitched that she was”too sexy” because she was still 17 years old. Well, fast-forward to April 2012 and now that Dakota’s finally reached the ripe young adult of 18 years, we can FINALLY say that she’s too sexy without incurring the wrath of these goddamned Liberals!

Dakota appears on the May issue of C-Style Magazine talking about some movie she did that doesn’t even come out until the Fall. Yeah, I don’t get it but at least her photos are nice (she even resembles Drew Barrymore in one of the pics)! Take a gander, it’s legal now.

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Emily Van Camp Heats It Up For Cosmopolitan USA May 2012


You wanna know something that is really FUCKED UP? The editors of Cosmo had two choices for the covergirl of the May issue: “Revenge” bad girl, Emily Van Camp or Reality-starlet-sister-to-a-whore Khloe Kardashian. And who did they choose? That’s right, the Yeti! In case you aren’t aware of it, Emily is on the hottest show on TV but, instead, got screwed over for Chewbacca. Once again, it’s an EPIC FUCKIN’ FAIL, COSMO!

Anyway, Emily makes an 8-page appearance in the May issue of Cosmo showing some sizzling skin (as well as some horrific Photoshopped cleavage). Scope out the goods!

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Sofia Vergara Gets Colorful For InStyle USA April 2012


Sofia scores the cover for the April issue of InStyle and there are various parts of her interview that are quite funny. My particular favorite quote of hers from the article: “I always hated Math. The moment I run out of fingers, I can’t count anymore“. [Editors Note: That makes two of us, Sofia.]

Check it out!

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Kristen Bell Covers For Women’s Health April 2012


Kristen scores the dual-sided cover for the April 2012 issue of Women’s Health where she discusses about the 40 things important in her life. My only complaint is why the photographer felt the need to have a sunburst in all of the photos to the point where you can barely see Kristen’s face. It’s fuckin’ distracting!!!

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Megan Fox Is Naughty & Nice For Cosmo USA April 2012


The big question the issue asks is if Megan Fox is “Naughty or Nice”? My answer? NEITHER. She’s a LAZY BUM! And, as usual, Cosmo Photoshopped her head to look smaller.

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Jennifer Lawrence Is Rack-A-Licious For Glamour Magazine April 2012


Jennifer Lawrence. The Hunger Games. Big ol’ boobies. That pretty much explains this entire issue. Did I mention the boobies?

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Megan Fox Returns To The Spotlight In Angeleno Magazine March 2012


I really don’t understand how two separate magazines in separate coasts could end up using the SAME Megan Fox photoshoot in the SAME month! Megan scores the cover for the March issue of Angeleno but ALSO scored the cover of Miami Magazine. Both issues use the same photos and I’m sure both issues feature the same boring-ass articles.

Whatever, just click and download this shit, will ya!

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!

Sarah Michelle Gellar Gets Rebellious For Bullett Magazine Spring 2012


I haven’t seen an episode of Sarah’s new TV show “Ringer”, but it seems to be getting good ratings if not for the fact that it hasn’t been canceled. Then again, “Gossip Girl” is still on the air, so why not, right? Anyway, SMG makes a 6-page appearance in the Issue #6 of Bullett Magazine (with Daniel Radcliffe on the cover) doing her best impression of Patricia Arquette from “True Romance” and talking about her personal life.

Check it out!

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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!