The 2014 Grammy Awards have come and gone, and in their wake are a trail of fashion hits and misses typical of the annual event. There were some very curious choices that make your head spin. There were some very nice outfits that had flair but were really quite reasonable, and, of course, there cleavage galore. There were also a few pleasant surprises, perhaps none more welcome than Katy Perry’s gown – it was a more mature look but still made a statement.
Katy Perrry arriving at the 2014 Grammy Awards – dress of the night
Strange or even bad
I have to comment on Kelly Osbourne first. This is someone who makes a living through no real talent or ability of her own – no, she makes a living commenting on the clothing worn by some people who have actual talent and recognized achievement. With that in mind, this is the outfit she came up with? When she and her cohorts unleash the so-called “fashion police” on the vile miscreants at the events who had the colossal nerve not to live up to their so-called expertise and refined taste, she damn well should put herself near the top of the “Just exactly what on God’s green Earth were you thinking?” list. Is she supposed to be a Power Ranger? Does she really believe that the lavender hair lends her an air of class? I can answer with an emphatic “No!” If she were an artist you might be able to claim that she was exhibiting an artist’s eccentricity but by no measure is she an artist. She is, however, very lucky to have a lucrative career living off the accomplishments and talents of others.
Cyndi Lauper was a successful artist, and she’s known for being quirky, and getting away with rather harmless, eccentric acts with a nod and a wink – but is that how you explain her outfit? War that left out of the original Rocky Horror Picture Show movie? I don’t know. I just don’t know.
Sara Bareilles’s gown has all the earmarks of a “What the heck! Let’s go for it!” decision-making process. Almost anything but feathers, Sara. Channeling Björk or Cher is rarely the way to go.
Look at Paula Patton’s dress and just try to think anything except a zebra. Go ahead. Try. You can’t. I keep thinking of Steve Martin in The Jerk when he first discovers “easy listening” music on the radio. At last he finds his rhythm and can snap his fingers in time to the music. “I’ve found my special purpose in life! This music speaks to me!” I’ll just bet Paula went to the dress shop or zoo gift shop, took one look at this garment and said, “This dress speaks to me!” All I can say is, “Paula, learn a different language!”
Cindy Lauper at the 2014 Grammy Awards arrivals
Kelly Osbourne at the 2014 Grammy Awards arrivals
Paula Patton at the 2014 Grammy Awards arrivals
Sara Bareilles at the 2014 Grammy Awards arrivals
Taylor Swift looked so together in a silver, shimmery, body-hugging dress, and her look was completed by an artfully-done hairstyle. All in all, there’s not much room for criticism here.
Zendaya Coleman looked sweet and sophisticated in a dress that featured bold color, a flash of leg, and her nicely-done hairstyle completed a well-coordinated look.
Martina McBride’s simple black dress could have ended up looking too simple, but luckily for her, it did not. It was detailed enough not to come anywhere near an expensive potato sack – no, it had class and
Some viewers may have felt that Ariana Grande’s dress looked too much like a prom dress, but not me. It has a bold floral print that stood out very nicely on a black background – very nice.
Colbie Caillat’s dress could have gone over the top but it didn’t. The feathery accents were a risk, to be sure, but the dressmaker showed wisdom in using them simply as an accent, leaving the exposed diagonal stripe across as just enough of a wow factor. A bold red, a judicious level of accent, just enough dazzle – this was another very nice effort.
Colbie Caillat at the 201g Grammy Awards arrivals
Ariana Grande at the 201g Grammy Awards arrivals
Martina McBride at the 201g Grammy Awards arrivals
Taylor Swift at the 201g Grammy Awards arrivals
Zendaya Coleman at the 201g Grammy Awards arrivals
Holey moley (or, for some, shameless)
What would a major awards show be without cleavage? Last year, as you may remember, the Grammy producers thought they were being very clever by circulating a “no side-boob” mandate to the attendees. We know how that worked out, don’t we? Let’s remember, for example, Katy Perry’s wide front dress cutout. It didn’t show side-boob – it showed plenty of inner-boob. I am, of course, not complaining – that’s just an intro to the following fine dressmaking displays.
Lately, Chrissy Teigen seems to be on a mission to establish a red carpet “golden gloves” reputation – and gain a following – that expects this kind of show, just as we (or is that I?) expect from Salma and Sofia and Halle and, lately, Heidi. This is definitely the kind of dress that on first sight, makes you say, “Holy moley!” or perhaps something slightly more colorful or graphical. In any case, this dress certainly qualifies.
Miranda Lambert is justifiably proud of her recent weight loss and re-sculpted body, and she seems to display just how proud of it. Is she looking to make up for lost time? I don’t know, but I’m certainly happy about it.
Anna Faris grabbed her fair (and well-deserved) share of attention in a bold and elegant blue gown that could make many men and doubtless any number of women stop in their tracks. The thing is, there’s an element of class to the dress. Make no mistake, it’s revealing, but it’s hardly tasteless, and it has at least a degree of restraint. In contrast, there is Paris Hilton. Here’s the difference – Paris grabbed attention, but mainly because the dress came so close to leaving nothing to the imagination. This is another person who is famous for no discernible reason, aside from the fact that the fate of fortunate birth gained her a life of privilege that she has parlayed into even more wealth, mainly from the pocketbooks of endless throngs of gullible people who should know better. I’m showing two pictures of Paris not because I’m drooling over the dress and I think you will to, but as an example of someone blessed with good looks, lots of money and no definable talent or skill who engages in endless self-promotion in order to keep her fabulous train ride going just as damn long as possible.
Anna Faris at the 201g Grammy Awards arrivals
Miranda Lambert at the 201g Grammy Awards arrivals
Chrissy Teigen at the 201g Grammy Awards arrivals
Paris Hilton at the 201g Grammy Awards arrivals
Paris Hilton at the 201g Grammy Awards arrivals