Supermodels
Doutzen Kroes Is Partly Cloudy/Mostly Sunny For Muse Magazine Fall 2011
Dutch Victoria’s Secret Angel Doutzen Kroes has appeared in TWO beachside-related editorials for September. The first one showed Doutzen in a more playful and sexy and sunny beach atmosphere for the October issue of Elle Magazine. For her second beachside editorial, she displays a more serious and muted side for the Fall issue of Muse Magazine. Unlike the Elle edit, it’s plain to see that the beachside was partly cloudy and mostly sunny (hence the title above), which gives these Muse photos a bit of a dreary and sleepy feel.
Anyway, regardless of the bad weather, Doutzen looks super-amazing plus she’s got that HUGE rack that she can finally flaunt around! Makes me eager to wanna see her outfits for the upcoming Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!
Andi Muise Goes Sexy-Blue For Health Magazine October 2011
Andi Muise is a name I haven’t seen in the supermodel world in quite awhile. Last I remember, she was doing some catalog work and made an appearance in Cosmo back in 2009 but then just disappeared from modeling, which is sad because she happens to be one of my FAVORITE Canadian supermodels. Compared to the other Canadian supermodels like Daria Werbowy or Jessica Stam or even Coco Rocha, I’d much rather prefer the exotic beauty of Andi Muise.
Anyway, it looks like Andi is making a sweet comeback by appearing in the October 2011 issue of Health Magazine (with Sarah Michelle Gellar on the cover, see next post below) wearing the hottest and sexiest blue-colored outfits of the Fall/Winter season. Check it out!
CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!
Candice Swanepoel Goes High Fashion For Harpers Bazaar October 2011
I’ve gotten so used to seeing lots of pictures of Victoria’s Secret Angel Candice Swanepoel in her bra and panties that I’ve forgotten all about her high fashion days. It shouldn’t surprise you that Candice first started out as a runway model but since her curvy ass was so incredibly hot and phat, she ended up being known more for that instead of this.
So you gotta give props to Karl Lagerfeld for snapping up Candice for the October issue of Harpers where she’s wearing all the latest artsy-fartsy crap that NOBODY will ever wear. Very rarely do VS models ever get the chance to do high fashion edits, so this was unexpected.
Yeah, it’s nice to see Candice be a little more conservative……but just as long as she doesn’t hide that phat ass for too long.
CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!
Lindsay Ellingson & Lara Stone Make Cameos for GQ Magazine October 2011
As usual, the folks at American GQ placed a GUY on their cover as opposed to the supermodel power that they placed inside the pages of their October 2011 issue. That’s right, Leo DiCaprio’s fatass gets the cover while supermodels like Lindsay Ellingson and Lara Stone are reduced to small cameos.
For Lindsay’s edit (seen above), she appears in two pages of a multi-page edit featuring actor Justin Theroux. From what I can see, the second pic of Lindsay has been horribly Photoshopped in every way you can possibly think. Absolutely nothing matches!
CLICK HERE TO VIEW LARA’S EDITORIAL!
The Victoria’s Secret Angels Cover For Elle Magazine October 2011 *UPDATED*
[UPDATE 09/16: I've added the HQ scan of Miranda Kerr's cover!]
The Victoria’s Secret Angels are in full force for the month of October (well, some of them). The October 2011 issue of Elle features FOUR separate covers – one for Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, Miranda Kerr, and Chanel Iman.
[For reasons unknown, Alessandra Ambrosio, Candice Swanepoel, Erin Heatherton, and Linsday Ellingson weren't part of this cover shoot.]
Anyway, I’ve went ahead and posted UHQ scans of the Adriana and Doutzen covers as well as the multi-page editorial. Check it out!
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sorry, but I'm avoiding Chanel Iman's photos, BLECH.]
CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!
Victoria’s Secret Angels Put In Some Work For “Fox & Friends”
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I seriously do not understand why Victoria’s Secret finds it appropriate to promote their Angels and products on a Politics/News show like “Fox & Friends” on a daily basis. Really, I don’t! Anytime VS has something to hawk, F&F is always their one-stop shop and it puzzles me how they think lingerie mixes with Politics.
Anyway, VS decided to toss Erin Heatherton and Lily Aldridge towards my TV screen this morning (in promotion for Fashion’s Night Out) and the F&F producers thought it’d be funny (as did I) to make those girls actually DO something rather than just stand around in their tight dresses and pouting and blowing kisses at everyone (something I’m all too familiar with, SIGH). What did they make them do, you ask? Here, take a look.
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CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE REST OF THE SCREENCAPS!
Candice Swanepoel Seduces Ian Somerhalder in Allure Magazine September 2011
I don’t know who is hotter in this Allure editorial, Victoria’s Secret Angel Candice Swanepoel or “Vampire Diaries” actor Ian Somerhalder. She’s all hot and bothered and seductively minxy and he’s quite the dreamy and buff handyman…..ARRGGHH! Too many hot bodies!!
Anyway, famed (and quite overrated) photographer Mario Testino snapped the pics for this editorial and made the grave mistake of not using much of Ian’s face or body in the edit. While it’s obvious to see that Candice is practically trying to tear Ian apart, WE the viewer are not privy to Ian’s hot male body. Where’s the muscles? The glistening sweat? The bulging tool-guy boner???
Here, take a look for yourself.
CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Covers Maxim Australia’s 2nd Issue
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I’m a bit surprised that Maxim has only released their SECOND issue in Australia. I’da thunk they existed much longer over there, but I guess not.
Anyway, “Transformers 3″ babe, Rosie HW is on the cover of their second issue (September 2011) and unlike other Maxim publications in other countries, they get a special new boobie-filled photo for their cover – although I’m sure her edit in the issue is the same thing from her previous U.S. Maxim edit…..or is it?
Enjoy, Aussies!
Miranda Kerr & Doutzen Kroes Unveil New……Swimsuits
…Among OTHER thing(ies). Victoria’s Secret is cashing in on the summer craze by unveiling their new bikini swimsuits in AUGUST.
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BTW, it’s amazing how a pregnancy can turn a supermodel’s breasts from a size B to a size D a mere EIGHT months AFTER giving birth. There is NO way in Hell that Miranda and Doutzen could still have those (massively ridiculous) post-pregnancy breastesses unless there were some, ummm…..surgical enhancements added in.
Hell, take a look at Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio! Those two gave birth a long time ago and they aren’t sporting giant cannonball hoots like these two. And before you ask, YES, I love it!
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What, you didn’t think I was gonna end this article without some pictures of Candice Swanepoel’s phat ass, did you?
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Supermodels Get Naughty In New Book
For the past couple of years, Sports Illustrated releases a special “swimsuit outtakes” book about six months after the swimsuit issue hits the stands. In particular, the new photos in these books don’t really have anything worth tongue-wagging over….until NOW, that is! Imagine my surprise when I browsed thru the new “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2011 Extra/Fantasy Islands” book (on newsstands now) and saw a couple of salacious see-through shots! Normally, these kinds of pictures would get Photoshopped to blur out the model’s nipples, but it seems they decided to forgo it for blatant nudity. And you know what? WHO CARES!
Out of the 80+ new pictures in the book, a total of FIVE of them feature see-through nudity and I decided to be a nice guy and make HQ scans of all five pictures. Sure, five pictures isn’t much but, then again, maybe it is! And the pics are of Alyssa Miller, Izabel Goulart, Chrissy Teigan, and Hilary Rhoda. If you were expecting Brooklyn Decker, Irina Shayk, or Julie Henderson to be all nude, then don’t even bother buying the issue.
CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE FULL EDITORIAL!
Candice Swanepoel Hard At Work
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Uh-huh, somethin’s “hard”, *WINK WINK*.
Ugh, can you believe just how much work has to go into these bikini photoshoots at exotic islands like St. Barths where all the model does throughout the day is get a nice fake bronzer tan and then pose for the cameras while dipping her toes in the cool water?
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Sorry, what was I talking about?
Kate Moss Gets Another Vogue Cover
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HOW?!? WHY??? WHAT!!! HUH! Last month’s cover was Sarah Jessica Parker and now THIS! I don’t get it, how the blue fuckin’ Hell does Kate Moss and her jank teeth and disgusting FUPA still get any work??? And why the Hell does Anna Wintour feel the need to put Kate in ANOTHER American Vogue cover??
Am I missing something here? Is there some sort of commercial appeal that I’m not seeing? There are other supermodels from the 90′s still workin’ yet it’s Kate that gets all the attention! And now she’s on the September 2011 cover of Vogue where it shows and talks about her marriage to some asshole Brit!
Fuck this shit! Where’s Carine Roitfeld when you fuckin’ need her??? BUT…..there is an announcement on the upper left corner about GLEE, so maybe that might be worth a read.
Erin Heatherton’s Solution To Weight Loss!
Ever wondered how Victoria’s Secret supermodels like Erin Heatherton get that wafer-thin but super slim body? Exercise? Buncha crunches and sit-ups? Tae-Bo? NO, WRONG SIR! NO TRIX FOR YOU!! YOU GET NOTHING!!!
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It’s simple: chain-smoking! Just buy a 36-pack of Marlboros and just smoke them up while purging out your latest lunch and you’ll have a body as janky and sexy as Erin Heatherton’s.
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Dear God, why didn’t I think of this? I could use a quick solution to lose an extra, oh…..hundred pounds.
Alessandra Ambrosio & The Lucky Surfboard
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I could not be more envious of that surfboard that Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio is straddling. C’mon now! I bet not even her baby daddy gets that kinda action. Rumors going around the Supermodel circle was that Alessandra secretly flew to Hawaii last weekend for a secret family rendezvous, but then she pretty much blew her own cover by tweeting to the world that she was there. HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET???
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Hey, at least Alessandra is a lot more physical at the beach than that prude I’ll-jump-in-the-water-and-get-a-little-wet bitch Adriana Lima! Straddle that long wooden board!
[CREDIT: Alessandra's Beijos]
Marisa Miller – Professional Paddle Boarder!
Well, now that supermodel Marisa Miller ain’t working for Victoria’s Secret nor is she a Sports Illustrated model nor is she a Harley Davidson spokesperson nor is she a Captain Morgan’s Rum wench….what the Hell is she doing nowadays? Turns out that the blonde-mopped supermodel has been hard-at-work designing her own line of paddle boards (basically, a surfboard that you stand on and paddle with an oar).
She made another rare appearance on the Conan O’Brien show last night (minus the gratuitous cleavage-heaving red dress from her last appearance) to help promote the sporting line. While the interview consisted of Conan doing his “you’re-so-hot” jive talk, it was the last half of the interview that was a bit of a trip.
Check it out, she can walk on water in high heels!
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Man, I sure do miss Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She was so hot in Transformers 3…..WHAT, HUH??? What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Marisa Miller. Whatever.
Miranda Kerr Gets Animal-Friendly
FACT: Miranda Kerr has to do numerous photoshoots for so many different magazines and catalogs. And for this particular session, they decided to pair the 6th highest paid supermodel with….a giant white horse (with an impending horse boner, apparently).
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I don’t know why but it’s just too funny. Pic of the Day!
Adriana Lima Exposes Her Bikini Body….
….Well, whatever’s left of it anyway. The “Head Angel” was spotted taking a cool dip at Miami Beach and it’s plain to see that Mrs. Lima just isn’t the same curvy Angel we once knew all those years ago. Ever since she married that asshole basketball player and then gave birth to a baby girl, her body’s taken a lightspeed spiral DOWN to Cellulite Town.
Here, take a look.
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And it doesn’t stop with Adriana, either. Alessandra Ambrosio and Miranda Kerr have both taken very big hits to their bodies in terms of their curvature. Thank god for mutherfuckin’ Photoshop, otherwise, these women would look like troglodytes.
Top 5 Supermodels That Are Mistaken For Victoria’s Secret Angels
Let’s get straight to the point: people can be dumb. And nothing is funnier than dumb people (hey, just look at that guy that predicted the Rapture). But it really yanks my chain when media people just spout off supermodel names and just automatically claim that a particular supermodel is a “Victoria’s Secret Angel”. Really, IT DOES. I am very anal retentive when it comes to the Angels because these are the girls I see in my VS catalog and, as we all know, posing for VS is practically like winning the supermodel lottery because it it can only mean good things.
And let’s also distinguish that the yearly Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is ALSO like winning a model lottery because it enables the chosen models that walk for their show to become honorary “Angels” (though not part of the elite brand), giving them even more opportunities.
But allow me to point out the select few supermodels that have ZERO association with the brand. These are the models that a lot of media people tend to conjoin their names with VS, but it just isn’t TRUE! Don’t fall for the lies! These models are NOT part of Victoria’s Secret in any way! Who am I talking about? Oh, let me list the top FIVE for ya!
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Do Candice Swanepoel and Lindsay Ellingson Hate Each Other?
I hate it when supermodels have beef with each other. I mean, they should be having slumber parties and pink panty pillow fights! In this case, we got two Victoria’s Angels that just don’t seem to want to stand next to each other in photos.
As I was looking through these new photos of a Victoria’s Secret charity event that was held a few days ago, I noticed a few things: hot cameltoe and lots of amped up cleavage. But other than those, I also noticed that hotties Candice Swanepoel and Lindsay Ellingson were staying so far apart from each other as if one of them had chlamydia or something.
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It was as if these two were purposely being kept apart in order to not allow them to get into a big ol’ sexy bitchfight in the middle of the floor. Oh man, can you imagine these two blondes just slapping and clawing at each other as they yell obscenities like “You fuckin’ cunt-licking dicksucking ass-reaming bitch!” or “You’re the one who’s a cum-guzzling slut!” or even “Go swallow a bowl of black cock, you FUPA-having bush-pig whore!“? I know I can!
Here, browse the rest of these pics and see if I’m right or just plain right. Notice how Candice gets all touchy-feely with Erin Heatherton, Lily Aldridge, and Alessandra Ambrosio but NOT Lindsay. Hmmm……
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Oh, they TOTALLY hate each other, don’t get me wrong! I can see it in the body language. In the same way that supermodels Adriana Lima and Isabeli Fontana hate each others guts, Candice and Lindsay seem like the best of friends……or maybe not.
Miranda Kerr to wear the Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Bra 2011
I had been noticing a whole shitload of Tweets and rumors regarding this year’s VS Angel recipient to wear the coveted Fantasy Bra. Last year’s Fantasy Bra inhabitant was Adriana Lima and she totally FUCKED IT UP and, hopefully, this year’s recipient won’t do the same.
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Which Angel am I talking about? Well, three names were in the running: Alessandra Ambrosio, Doutzen Kroes, and Miranda Kerr. According to various Tweets by VS designers (which I’m sure got deleted), they mentioned that one of the Angels wearing the bra was “back with a vengeance”. That crosses out Alessandra and leaves only Doutzen and Miranda. A few days later, a spoiler Tweet got posted revealing that it was Miranda Kerr wearing it.
And it’s easy to see why considering that Miranda has undergone a really big transformation in her post-pregnancy. If you look at the photos below, Miranda seems to have gotten herself some LARGE breastesses and they definitely look a bit enhanced considering she gave birth almost 4 months ago. Scope out these candid photos from the last couple of weeks.
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See what I mean? UNREAL! Those are DEFINITELY worthy of a Fantasy Bra. Sorry, Alessandra Ambrosio and Doutzen Kroes, YOU LOSE.
[While I'm sure all of this is already old news to Miranda Kerr fans, everyone else outside of the supermodel world now knows the truth!]
